AMERICA NEEDS MORE BUTCHERS!

Donald Trump's immigration policy could inevitably lead to a shortage of butchers and meat wranglers in this country.

Here's how:

Suppose a young foreign couple finds itself living in a hellscape of political repression and economic collapse. What can they do? Easy:

Come to America! Solve all your problems at once!

So, in they come, however they can: hire a coyote, swim a river, hike through a desert, get a visa and overstay it. Whatever it takes, right?

Cut to Present Day: Here they are, living in the country of their choice, working hard, making money, paying taxes, raising a family.

Then boom: Covid effs up the economy and food prices skyrocket!

Result: Donald Trump is headed back to the White House with a cast-iron mandate to rip those illegal immigrants out of their homes and send them back to hell.

Which is where they belong, right?

But what about their children, every one of them born in this country and therefore an American citizen?

Well, that's up to the parents, obviously.

You want to take your children with you when you go? Okay, fine, but why should the American people foot the bill for that? Airplane tickets are not cheap, you know. And what about meals? Motel stays? Or, for that matter, multiple nights in government detention?

Don't forget, building all those deportation camps is going to cost the blameless citizens of this country plenty! And the process of dealing with millions and millions of illegals may take years!

Obviously, the border-bound parents must be on the hook for these charges. But that might represent an insurmountable expense for them.

What the hell are they to do?

Here is my modest proposal: Eliminate the children on the spot. Save the wee ones from the endless and inexplicable misery their thoughtless parents have signed them up for. Just mow 'em down and get on with the tedious business of infallible justice for which this country is renown.

And here, finally, is where those butchers I mentioned earlier come in!

All that meat will need to be processed, not for immigration justice, this time, but for dinner.

Folks may need to be detained for year after year, and all those pesky children represent an excellent source of high-quality protein.

And there's another bonus: No more politically damning video of teary-eyed kiddies lying about in cages! The Trump administration will be in a position to turn all that negative press into a positive story of American ingenuity at work.

But there's the inevitable downside. The longer the removal process goes on, the greater will grow the need for supplemental nutrition. What happens when the supply of child-sized carcasses begins to wane?

What better new source of food than the adult detainees themselves?

It's only fair, right?

At a certain point, a calculation will be made, and deportation flights will dwindle until they can be canceled altogether. The illegal immigration problem literally disappears into the ether, like the snake that keeps gobbling up its own tail until the job is utterly finished.

And if there's any left, another fine bonus: certified vermin-free government meat for the economically challenged citizens of this wonderful country!

Just like government cheese, right? But even tastier. All who qualify will get a monthly allotment of detainee protein packaged in dry ice: well marbled steaks in all the approved, mouth-watering cuts. Anything left over? Ground meat in quarter-pound patties, perfect for the barbecue grill!

And if we start to run low, just open up the border a little!

Hey, if they're stupid enough to walk through the door, they deserve whatever they get. Right?

INTERNAL/EXTERNAL THREATS

GOP congress-critters face two very real threats, one external, and one internal.

The external threat is of course Donald Trump, a vindictive thug who will leap to punish the slightest whiff of disloyalty. Cross this man, and he will primary your butt in the next election, ending your career in politics.

The internal threat shows up when a given Republican Senator or Representative discovers that his or her career in politics is far more important to them than the future existence of this country.

Some members of the GOP, notably Liz Cheney, gave up their political careers in favor of the country, going public in the recent election to denounce Donald Trump as a fascist and threat to democracy.

These people are likely un-electable in the future, at least as Republicans.

But they are free of the external threat their colleagues still face.

They have learned this valuable lesson: Give up your political career, and Donald Trump can't hurt you.

(Of course, you may still face existential threat from rabid and well-armed Trump supporters. The Brownshirts know what to do.)

Meanwhile, the threat to all of us keeps getting worse.

Donald Trump claims he has been given an "unprecedented mandate" to carry out all his promised actions, both spoken and unspoken. Every grievance, even the delusional ones, are to be corrected by solemn (and "legal") vengeance.

(He's doing God's work, since he and his Project 2025 people know exactly what God wants. But that's a mandate of another sort. Though just as real. And I mean it: exactly as real as the mandate given by the electorate of this country.)

Right now, the matter before the Senate is the confirmation of Trump's picks for cabinet and other governmental positions. GOP Senators are warned to lock arms to push these odorous picks through the process without delay.

(When the time comes, I mean: The makeup of the Senate won't be complete until after the first of the year.)

Trump will not abide investigation of his picks. No back talk will be tolerated.

Now, it may be the man is engaged in a bait and switch operation, hoping his replacement pick (should it be necessary) will be accepted as the lesser of two evils.

Or better yet: If Senators fear condemnation by their constituents (and history) for confirming a problematical selection, just go home. Literally. Recess the Senate.

But first give Trump the power of recess appointments. That will allow his picks to proceed without getting senatorial fingerprints on them.

It's a win-win!

And the country be damned.

(All because the price of breakfast went up...)

GUEST BLOGGER: JOE BLOW

First of all: mandate.

I don't know what the hell a mandate is. Sounds like guys dating other guys.

I don't do that.

They say Trump has plans for America. I don't know anything about that. I don't think anyone would know without watching a bunch of politics TV.

And I don't do that, either.

But I did see this pie chart when I was flipping around looking for a closer game.

The three main reasons folks had for voting one way or the other were (in order): 1. the economy, 2. democracy, 3. abortion.

Okay, I have stuff to say about these three things.

In reverse order: abortion.

God, folks been yammering about abortion since forever! It's like they never shut up about it. Even so, I got no damn opinion about abortion.

Is this about the cost of an abortion? Because, yeah, if I got a girl in trouble I'd naturally front her a few bucks to deal with it. That would be the stand-up thing to do, right?

As for whether a chick should be allowed to get an abortion, I gotta say I don't like even thinking about it. I mean, it seems like it should be a personal matter, but what do I know?

I'll let people with bigger heads figure this one out.

Okay: democracy.

What's the question here? Whether we should continue to have democracy? I guess I vote: sure, let's keep it going.

(But it seems weird: voting to decide if folks should keep voting or not.)

I get the impression the democracy thing is more complicated. Which side are you supposed to vote for if you want to keep democracy going? I get the feeling a guy would have to watch a bunch of politics TV to figure that out.

And I'm not going to do it.

Here's why it doesn't matter. I voted the way I did on account of the number one reason everybody voted: the economy.

It's a no-brainer. If you're asking do I like paying a million bucks for a loaf of bread, the answer is go eff yourself. Of course I don't like it!

If one side or the other messes with my life that hard, they're gonna take it in the shorts. Ipso-flipso. You have to kick one side to the curb and let the other side take a shot of getting it right.

Case closed.

They use to say: "throw the rascals out!"

Can you explain why not without making me watch a crap-load of politics TV?

No? That's what I thought.

I did the right thing.

GARBAGE MAN

Are Trump supporters garbage?

The short answer is yes.

Let me explain: Human beings are massively defective mentally. We are stupid, crazy, and unaware of it. That's just how we roll. We evolved to have the illusion of smarts in lieu of actual smarts.

(By and large. It's a bell-curve spectrum. Some folks really are smart; you can identify them by their doubts. Stupid people are cock-sure. The vast majority of the human population is stupid, stupid-adjacent, or very effing stupid.)

Unfortunately, if you pound enough poop into ordinary human beings, they are liable to turn into garbage. That's just how it works.

(Metaphorically speaking, it's a kind of chemical reaction.)

And Donald Trump is nothing if not a mountain of radioactive poop.

(Just to be clear: poop equals lies, idiotic statements, and stupid mistakes a certified moron can't help but double-down on.)

Trump is also a vigorous purveyor of his product. He will force bucket after bucket of poop into his followers, completely overwhelming any model of poop deflector they may have installed in the past.

If you are at all susceptible, he will turn you.

Once turned, you will happily disseminate his poop to others. You'll become a mini-Trump poop dispenser, passing along his poop to friends and family, infecting their vulnerable human minds and turning them all into carriers.

(In this pathogen model of politics, Trump is Patient Zero.)

If you start out Republican, you are at greater risk.

You're already splashing around in that pleasant pot of luke warm water—but then the Trump-heat is turned up. In the end, you'll be fully boiled and ready to serve: MAGA-worthy for the rest of your life.

Obviously, some Republicans manage to resist the process. They leap from the pot while they still can. They warn others about the allure of the pot. They may even ask fellow Republicans to make the jump and vote for the Democrat (this time, at least).

Impossible to say if this trend will last.

But garbage people want to live. They want to mate with you and propagate.

So be warned: When Donald Trump finally totters off the stage, MAGA-worthy folks will gather up the available materials and build another on.

Meet the new boss; same as the old boss.

THE ENEMY WITHIN

Donald Trump has lately been talking about the "enemy within" and what he will have to do to defeat it. He says it might be necessary to engage the National Guard. Or, if it's "really necessary," the military.

Who is he talking about?

He mentions the radical left, who are of course crazy.

(All of Trump's enemies are designated crazy.)

At the end of his rant, he says something like "we can't let it happen again."

This is a hint as to the identity of the enemy within, which is so much more dangerous than China or Russia.

What is it that Trump desperately wants to avoid in the future? What could "happen again" that absolutely must be stopped?

I think he can only be referring to the "theft" of the 2020 election.

The problem is, Trump is having a lot of trouble identifying the perpetrators and their methods. Who stole the election, exactly? And how did they do it?

And how would he employ the military to defeat these anti-democratic monsters?

The need to use the military is another hint.

The target must be large and widespread in order for the military to be the right tool to use to deal with it.

So, what enemy of Trump qualifies: the Democrats, obviously.

Democrats are the ones who benefit from the defeat of a Republican presidential candidate.

Democrats are numerous (crucially, more numerous than Republicans), and they can be found pretty much everywhere, especially in large cities.

On more than one occasion, Trump has said Democrats hate America and are trying to destroy it.

When Democrats gang up to keep Trump out of the White House, it's clear (to Trump) they are targeting him because he is the only one who can thwart their evil plans.

But how can he do that in just four years as president? How can he fix the problem so that it stays fixed for all time?

He has to eliminate the Democrats, once and for all.

That's a big job. You'd need an army to do something like that.

Problem is, Trump can only gain access to an army by winning the 2024 election.

The only army he can field without winning the presidency involves militarizing his supporters. Now, many of those guys are already heavily armed. And there are right-wing militias available for getting the hard work done.

He'll need them.

If the next election is "rigged" (i.e., the Democrats win), Trump will need to mount a much more successful assault on the Capitol.

This time, there will be guns.

If his people can succeed in putting Trump back in power, he can finish the job of pacifying the nation with the actual military, which will now be at his disposal.

Maybe.

He'll need to place super-loyal commanders in position to make his orders stick.

(This is one point of friction that might ignite a new Civil War.)

So, what will Trump do with all his political prisoners?

Assuming they are not summarily executed, these "lunatics" will have to be housed someplace.

Which is where the new migrant camps come in.

Trump could use millions of illegal immigrants to build vast camps for housing Democrats awaiting trial for treason (or whatever convenient charge can be made against them; another available charge: "interfering with a Trump").

Could this scenario be the reason Trump plans to build large illegal migrant camps instead of simply deporting them?

I guess time will tell.

NO MORE LIES!

The office of the President of the United States is too powerful (read: dangerous) to allow it to be filled by a lying scumbag. We need to insure that such a person cannot hold that office.

We do that by not allowing such a person to run for that office.

Somewhere earlier I suggested three tests that would need to be passed in order for someone to be a candidate for the office of president: 1) the written test emigrants must pass to become citizens of this country; 2) an FBI background investigation to determine if the proposed candidate could conceivably be given a security clearance (the idea that a scumbag liar could be handed nuclear launch codes simply because he managed to bamboozle enough voters is bizarrely ridiculous—any nuclear power willing to do that should be sanctioned by the world); 3) review by a panel of psychologists to see if the candidate is a goofball unfit for office.

(Some may disagree, but I'd be surprised if Donald Trump could pass any of these three tests.)

Now, during a campaign by any approved candidate if falsehoods are presented as truth in any social media post or during videos of rallies, etc., the candidate would be given 24 hours to amend or withdraw that statement. If the candidate refuses, he or she would be subject to arbitration. If the candidate fails arbitration, the candidacy would be terminated.

Should the candidate agree to amend or withdraw the offending statement, the candidacy could continue. But if this situation recurs, upon the tenth such faulty statement, the candidate would be subject to immediate arbitration, where the campaign's continuation would be on the line.

I suspect there would be many protests and appeals and lawsuits. So be it.

Truth must be a threshold requirement. No person should be allowed to lie his or her way into the presidency. Human beings are simply too susceptible.

For that reason, the voters themselves need to be vetted by similar tests to form the body of the electorate. Some level of competency must be enforced.

(More protests and lawsuits on the way, you bet!)

So who would run this arbitration process, this extremely consequential fact-checking?

I don't know. Retired judges? Retired military and industrial leaders? Retired college professors? Folks like that. (And of course they all must pass the three tests to serve.)

There is no group of potential arbiters that would not be assailed by somebody.

Nevertheless, a thing might be done that can be maintained above the sea of grumbling humans. (We have here a planet of energetic grumblers.)

American adults vetted to be presidential voters could also be those folks who perform the role of "direct government," which could replace our current system of "representative government."

Electing representatives to perform in Congress was necessary at the time of the founding of this country when communications and transportation were rudimentary. You had to elect someone who was enough like you to act on your behalf in that room in Washington. Let him vote his conscience and hope for the best.

We now have the technology to dump all that, eliminating both elections and reelections, along with all the corruption these processes engender.

Oh, and by the way: no more political parties!

And here's a bonus: without a physical congress, there's no possible career path through congress, so nobody can be blackmailed into supporting a presidential candidate who threatens to "primary" a member of his own party, thus destroying that person's political career.

If a potential presidential candidate simply can't stop himself from uttering lies, exaggerations, and delusions, that person need not apply. He or she would be better served by a podcast and a sponsor with very deep pockets.

Say what you want, a-hole, and take the consequences.

IN A NUTSHELL

After a squint at the activities of my fellow humans I have concluded that the purpose of human life is to make all life on this planet nearly impossible.

The big problem: Human beings evolved not to be smart but to possess the illusion of smart. That's why stupid folks think they're smarter than they are. (The Dunning-Kruger Effect). We can see that other people are messed up mentally, but we never look close enough to find out that those folks think it's we who are goofed up.

Turns out, humans know just two things: 1) Everything. 2) Don't listen to those snorkle-heads, we're fine!

(Thinking you know everything [and more] is a kind of human side-effect of knowing so little. Everybody: To Infinity and Beyond!)

The brain only does two things well: Coming up with what an idiot would consider plausible reasons to do whatever it is the idiot has already decided to do. (That's called rationalization.)

Also, crucially: The brain protects us from ever finding out we're all wet.

The good news: We come out of this with that most precious of mental armor—confidence.

On a practical level, believing you're a very stable genius is more useful than actually being a genius, because real geniuses are filled with doubts. Imaginary geniuses (AKA idiots) are, as Bertram Russell pointed out in the '30s, cock-sure.

So, does the delusion of smarts cause any trouble?

Well, yeah: It causes pretty much all the trouble on this planet.

First, a couple of exceptions: Earthquakes and volcanic eruptions can be devastating, of course, and humans are blameless for that stuff. (I'm pretty sure.)

On the other hand, humans are apt to plant their cities atop earthquake faults and at the base of active volcanoes, so I think we may have to take some responsibility.

Even extremely bad weather (hurricanes and tornadoes) is exacerbated by human activity (climate change), and deadly diseases (both local and worldwide) can be politicized into the stratosphere by anti-vaxers and the like.

(Folks have a constitutional right to spread disease! Not to mention you might be interfering with god's will by curing folks that god wants sick. That's blasphemy!)

Everything else is largely human-human interaction, which nearly always leads to trouble on some level or another: Couples argue until the police are called; neighbors feud until SWAT is deployed; national politics slides into war; religion is soaked in blood for no practical reason whatsoever.

(Religion only exists because god doesn't.)

To be clear: Human beings are the folks who think they know stuff. They're almost always wrong, but they make up for that by never finding out they're wrong. If you're human, everything that pops up in your field of vision proves you right.

Pretty cool, huh?

You: "Yeah, I just don't see it."

Me: "Exactly."

Believe me or don't, we're all in the same leaky boat.

You should be asking: Is there any way out of this catastrophe?

The short answer is: No.

This feverish clash of nonsense is who we are. And you can't change a human being's mind because to a close approximation human beings don't have them.

(Humans have imaginary minds where they do imaginary thinking.)

MAGA, Q-anon, Stop the Steal. Folks don't get tangled in nonsense like this by careful reasoning, which means you can't use reason to convince anybody to exit these mental mazes. Stuck is stuck.

Here's the thing: As stupid as the people around you seem to be, you can be pretty sure you're also just about exactly that stupid. Those people are unaware of it, and neither are you.

So how can you fix a problem you can't see, a problem you can only theorize about?

One good indicator is doubt. The more you doubt that the action you're about to take is a good idea, the closer you are to being able to prevent your next disaster.

In other words, when you absolutely know you're right, it's time to step back and reconsider.

Sure, but who has that level of maturity?

Here's a practical example: Can you drive through that pond of water? You might try counting the number of cars that tried it and failed. Were those guys more vulnerable than you are? Chances are, they weren't.

In general, the more confident you are you can make it, the more trouble you're about to be in. Remember, your brain is not your friend.

Maybe you imagine the folks whose cars are submerged to the roof line came through this intersection hours ago, when the water level was much higher. Okay, but it would be good to see some evidence of that, maybe a high-water line near the top of a stop sign post.

And don't forget that the volume of nonsense erupting from your skull is directly related to your sense of urgency. How badly do you want to cross that pond and get to your destination? Is the ice cream starting to melt; are the fast-food burgers getting cold?

Sorry, but such notions will not give your car the qualities of a boat.

Here's a thought: Wait for another idiot to show up. If he gets stuck, it's likely you'd get stuck, too. So back off!

(As government officials in flood zones like to say: Don't drown, turn around.)

Caution is always a good watch-word. Measure twice, cut once. Look before you leap. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

On the other hand, he who hesitates is lost. Strike while the iron is hot. Make hay while the sun shines. Faint heart never won fair maiden.

What are you, an indecisive wimp? Can't make up your fricken mind? What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?

Humans may not actually see both sides of every argument, but we're ready with wise-guy platitudes to rationalize our decisions when the time comes.

So, what have we learned?

Beats me, I'm a native hereabouts. As a consequence, my brain rot is nearly complete.

Why don't you make up your own damn mind? (Ha!)

ONE CHEER FOR DEMOCRACY

 MAGA Republicans have sold their souls to a demon named Donald J. Trump.

I don't know, maybe this is a smart move. Since being convicted of 34 felonies, Trump has hauled in massive amounts of money from concerned donors. Some of that loot might even be used to run for president, though undoubtedly the matter of paying legions of lawyers will have to take the first and biggest bite.

Republicans who used to excoriate Trump for his misdeeds are now slobbering all over the man, trying to find a new place to plant a big nasty one. These folks know the slightest sign of disloyalty would cost them their political careers.

And no way is the fate of this country as important to them as their continued time in the political limelight.

So they blast away, parroting Trump's lies, a fat list of them even pledging to obstruct any Democratic attempt to legislate relief of any kind to any American, all in protest of the fictional weaponization of the DOJ.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is also apparently willing to put his immortal soul in jeopardy to bear false witness on behalf of his new spiritual leader. Now that's commitment on a higher level, the man willing to spend eternity in hell with Donald  J. Trump.

(The ex-president probably thinks he has already worked out a deal with god to avoid hell and regain the White House. Perhaps he could mandate that every American have the Ten Commandments tattooed on their foreheads. Surely an Old Testament god would cream his jeans for something like that.)

The Shadow President assures Johnson he's doing a great job as Speaker, something the man could not omit saying in front of news cameras. Bless his little heart. Hearing praise from the Big Guy might be his only reward in this life.

(Or maybe not. Should lightning strike the newly elected prez and his veeply lapdog, Johnson would become president. Does the man who talks to god think he has that deal locked up? Remember, self-delusion is among a human being's most favorite pastimes.)

Loyalty to Trump could cripple the government for the next three months or so, but what if the man loses again? Chaos in the streets? Guns and blood everywhere, his heavily armed minions protesting this newest Biden-based outrage?

Will we get that new American Civil War we've all been promised?

MAGA critters are really getting their hopes up for victory in November. Is that a good idea? The Deep State stole the last election and nobody could ever figure out how that happened. What would stop it from happening again?

It all comes down to this. Our cherished form of government has from the beginning been on the road to ruin for one simple and unavoidable fact: In order to work, democracy relies on human beings, the most unreliable creatures on this planet.

People have to know what's going on and vote accordingly.

Unfortunately, human beings emphatically don't know what's going on. What's more, there's no evidence that if they did know they would be able to figure out what to do about it. And then actually do it.

The problem is (and the avowed point of this blog site), humans are massively defective mentally, a roadblock that is capable of defeating all the angels of our better nature. (Should they happen to exist, that is.)

Majority rule, right? Sure, but that's not guaranteed to be a good thing.

Should the white majority say so, all Hispanics and Asians would have to leave the country, and Black folks would go back to work picking cotton for free.

You say there are laws against that sort of thing? A mere technicality. Laws come and go, Bubba. Anything that can be built can be dynamited with ease.

(Buildings scheduled for demolition tend to come down on Sunday mornings around eleven, when traffic patterns thin out. But rest easy, church-goers. Once everything is all good and blowed up, we'll go back to honoring god by doing no work on Sundays ever again.)

Okay, I know: I'm being too cute by half. Blowing up existing law will probably be done late Friday afternoon, to avoid prime-time news cycles. Dynamite is not required, of course, but wouldn't it be a lot more dramatic to use it? Everything goes better with TNT.

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS

The new Supreme Court decision on presidential immunity makes it virtually impossible to prosecute any official action taken by a president. Even trying to determine the person's motives are extremely hampered, to the point it may become moot if the action was criminal or not.

The American people might never find out.

Joe Biden, or whoever the Democrats put up against Trump, will absolutely have to defeat Trump at the polls to prevent a catastrophe.

But should the Dems fail, they'll have to Plan B the guy.

Which is okay.

Because apparently it would be legal for Biden to send Seal Team Six down to Mar-a-Lago to deal with Trump. Nothing fatal, you understand. Maybe just rendition the jerk to the International Space Station for a couple of years.

Kidnapping? says Biden. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Next problem? Trump's running mate and presumptive successor.

After that, Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House.

Repeat as necessary.

(They might have to add a new module to the ISS.)

WHY CAN'T TRUMP LIE?

Obviously, Joe Biden's performance at the presidential debate is troubling for Democrats. If this and his State of the Union address a few months ago were data points on a graph, the next point going forward would be his actual grave site.

Seeing him in North Carolina the next day may have answered many of those doubts, but some people will point out he had a TelePrompTer for this speech.

Other folks will remind us that debating is the job of a presidential candidate, not the job of a president. Screwing up the debate doesn't mean you shouldn't be president. It just makes it harder to be elected, on account of voters being human and humans being universal idiots. In a democracy, that can't be helped.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump performed as expected, with a torrent of lies.

But something that happened at the end caused me to pause. Trump, as he did in 2016, again refused to say he would accept the results of the coming election, win or lose.

He said, several times, he would only accept the results if it was a fair election.

And we know what he means by "fair": He must win the election for it to be a fair election.

My question: Why can't he just lie?

The man lies about everything under the sun. Why not say, "Absolutely, I will accept the results of the election, win or lose!"

It's the ultimate softball question. Just say the magic words!

No one can fact-check you!

And it's not like he's under oath. Saying the words doesn't mean he's now prohibited from challenging an obviously fraudulent election. Nobody on the debate stage is up there signing any legal documents.

Why won't he just lie?

I can only think of two reasons:

1) Everybody already knows his position. ("The only way we don't win is if the election is rigged!") If he reverses that position now, everybody will know he's lying. And he doesn't want anybody to think he's a liar.

Or, 2) Donald Trump is not a liar.

Okay, I lied: There is really only one reason he won't lie: He can't.

Donald Trump, the man who makes false statements nearly every time he opens his mouth, is not a liar.

It's much worse than that.

Donald Trump is massively delusional. He actually believes everything he says.

Trump is not a raving lunatic (though he frequently raves). He's a relatively high-functioning sociopath with an enormous ego and access to great wealth.

That's not entirely a bad thing. In fact, it's the best thing ever for fellow billionaires. It's just bad for the average folks in this country.

Believe me, we'd be lucky if he were merely a liar.

Being a lying politician is not a new thing. In fact, it's sort of expected. That's why this class of critters is in a dead heat with used car salesmen to be the least trusted individuals.

Lying politicians, if they know they're lying and have a "good" reason for lying, can still do the job of president. Do it right and be good for the country.

Delusional folks are a different kettle of rotting fish. You can never know what crap those people will get the country into.

Donald Trump says Biden would get America into World War III.

Knowing how Trump unconsciously projects his failings onto other people, we really need to be worried if he wins the election. It's almost as if he's flat-out predicting that he, Trump, expects to put this country into the biggest jackpot of all time.

Food for thought that is now lodged firmly in my windpipe.

DONALD TRUMP'S MAGIC MIRROR, PART TWO

In my previous post I suggested Donald Trump projects his criminal behavior onto the people he sees in his Magic Mirror. He accuses these blameless folks of committing whatever acts of criminality Trump is in fact perpetrating himself.

Says he: Such disgraceful people!

(And this causes no trouble at all, right?)

Now I want to talk about Trump's mental state.

Specifically this: The man seems obsessed with what he perceives as Special Counsel Jack Smith's accelerating dementia.

In the old Soviet Union anybody who criticized the government might find themselves committed to an insane asylum. I think the idea was a person would have to be nuts to go up against the all-powerful state.

But that's not what's happening with Trump.

He says Smith is crazy for indicting him for Jan Six stuff and again for the documents case in Florida. Crazy. Not ill-advised. Not overly ambitious. Not politically partisan. Simon-pure crazy for bringing those charges.

And he doesn't mean crazy because Trump has billions of dollars to spend on high-powered lawyers who will run circles around Smith in court (not to mention thoroughly frustrate the man long before any court can get into session to even begin work).

No. He means crazy as in full-on demented.

Trump has literally predicted Smith will be institutionalized for uncontrolled lunacy in the very near future, locked up tight for mental issues in a world where the Trump indictments are mere symptoms of a far more serious cerebral failure.

Based on what?

Does Smith stand before cameras and rant about electric boats and lurking sharks? Is Smith obsessed with bird-slaughtering wind turbines or non-flushing toilets? Does Smith advocate injecting folks with bleach to kill the Covid-19 virus? Is Smith sucking up to the very fine folks on the neo-Nazi side of every argument?

Nope. The only thing Smith has ever done is indict Trump for very plausible crimes.

I have to conclude that something else is going on with Trump. Something deeper, darker, something hidden beneath the frothing whitecaps of Trump's mental ocean.

(Though maybe "parking lot puddle" is a more accurate description of this metaphorical body of water.)

It's likely Jack Smith is just a convenient target, a man who happens to be on Trump's radar. Below the surface it's all Trumpian mental defect, sussed out by his unconscious mind and projected, Magic Mirror style, onto the Special Counsel.

The more Trump grouses about Smith's mental state or—even more to the point—Joe Biden's growing deficiencies, the more likely it is the ex-president is (unconsciously, at least) worried about his own mental decline.

Here's an example of what I mean by mental decline: Not that long ago, at one of his free-form psychiatric sessions (I mean, rallies), Trump said: "We live in a country where we just found out that Russia and Saudi Arabia ..."

There followed a complicated spate of incoherent noises delivered with twisted facial expressions.

Was that a "covfefe" moment delivered in real time?

Or was the man suffering a stroke of some kind?

I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure this was not simply a case of Trump stumbling over an unfamiliar word that happened to pop up on his TelePrompTer.

Donald Trump is over 35 years old and a natural born citizen of this country. Beyond that he possesses virtually no qualifications for being president.

Clearly he disagrees, as do millions of MAGA voters. But this man, and those millions of his enthusiastic supporters, are all human beings.

And being human is hardly ever a good thing: We're stupid, crazy, and unaware of it.

Bottom line, I think you could make the case that a basic tenet of this blog is that virtually no human being is fit to be president.

Not that some of them aren't better fit than others.

In general, though, it sucks to be us.

And it's not just the general electorate that appears to find nothing amiss with Trump's mental swampware. Legions of Republican lawmakers are fully on board his 2024 campaign, singing Happy Birthday to the man, and so forth. Lot of frenzied hand-shaking going on. Marjorie Taylor Greene was giddy as a schoolgirl just to have Trump take notice of her.

Sounds like something I might have to get into in a future outing.

DONALD TRUMP'S MAGIC MIRROR

Donald Trump looks at the world through the glass of a magic mirror. He sees, out there in the dim landscape, images of disgraceful wrongdoing, along with the faces of the men and women who perpetrate those outrages. He then points them out to us from the electronic pulpit of his ironically named Truth Social app, often in all caps.

The problem is, Trump appears unaware that everything he's looking at is just himself, reflected back to him.

It's a mirror, okay? But he doesn't get it.

The man is looking at himself in the glass, and somehow his unconscious mind projects his own evil nonsense onto the world and its hapless inhabitants.

Look at that awful guy, he says. Look what he's doing! How disgraceful!

Or look at that guy! Now there's a man of low IQ! What a demented thug!

Or this crazy guy! By god, it's criminal what that man is doing!

And credit where credit is due, Trump's capable of applying simple logic to his pronouncements. Since he has never in his life done anything illegal, all those indictments must be coming from Joe Biden's corrupt DOJ.

It's only logical!

With that fact as a given, it makes perfect sense that should he be elected president again it will be his sacred duty to fling that degenerate, so-called justice back into the gloating faces of the America-hating Democrats.

And don't forget the smug, self-satisfied faces of the left-wing media outlets that reported so extensively on his alleged crimes.

Plus, we all have to agree it's reasonable the jury that convicted him of falsifying business records should be slammed into prison for its disgraceful crime.

Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up!

Right?

Everybody is piling on, taking advantage of the poor old man!

Look at what they've done to me, he says. I'm afraid it's going to have to come back at them. It's out of my hands, really.

Softball-pitching interviewers try their damnest to get Trump to agree he'll be too busy running the country to engage in a high-octane revenge tour.

But no, it seems Trump is willing to make time for this stuff. All those thugs out there need to learn the lesson that you can't mess with Trump!

And if he sees, through his magic mirror, the satisfying image of all those folks languishing in prison for their despicable crimes, will Trump ever realize that on some deep dark unconscious level he himself deserves to serve time for his very real crimes?

Beats me. Will anybody ever find out?

ROLE OF A LIFETIME

 Donald Trump is either a lying scumbag or he plays one on TV.

It's a bit hard to be sure which it is, but if it's the second one, we need to ask why he would do such a thing. Is Ivanka being held prisoner in some dungeon, a gun to her head? (Seriously, when was the last time you saw the woman?)

But if it's not a matter of duress, what does Trump gain by portraying such a massively defective character?

I'm kidding. The answer is obvious: It gets the job done. Trump's wounded warrior impersonation is taken at face value by his supporters.

(Also, maybe he's not pretending. Maybe he actually believes this nonsense. But dig it: "I won by a landslide and everybody knows it." That's two outrageous statements stuffed up each other's butt.)

I guess there's no reason in asking why his people behave the way they do. I think we have to accept that they (at least) are being sincere.

They really and truly love this man.

(Stupid, crazy, and unaware of it—that's our natural state of affairs, and it will launch you to hell faster than any devil.)

Some of his followers even risk prison time by threatening to murder anybody who dares interfere with Trump's fortune or freedom. Try bringing charges against Trump or ruling against him from the bench, see what you get.

Prosecutors and judges are being SWAT'd and harassed, their children presented with the specter of Oliver Twistian lives in orphanages and foster homes after their folks have been found strung up from municipal lamp posts.

I don't believe Donald Trump has been charged as the obvious inciter in these matters, though his one-time personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani has suffered a $148,000,000 judgment in the case of the two Georgia election workers he maligned, claiming they committed criminal fraud.

Adhering to the Trump World script, Giuliani maintains their guilt to this day.

(Trump may himself catch a corner of this action stemming from his RICO case in Georgia.)

Still, violent acts against Trump's enemies are inevitable, given the grievous attacks he has suffered at their hands. According to Trump.

All of his legal woes constitute election interference orchestrated by Joe Biden, the most corrupt president in the history of this country. According to Trump.

On the other hand, Trump's fever-dream stories do fit together nicely: Election theft by the Deep State, followed by bogus prosecution from a weaponized DOJ, led by the doddering fool who stole the election in the first place.

It's positively demonic!

Fortunately, Trump's allies have reams of proof, mountains of proof, far too much proof, apparently, to haul into even the most voluminous courtroom.

Or maybe the Deep State's Dog ate it.

Doesn't matter. Trump's people are on board with all this stuff.

During the 2016 campaign Trump famously said he could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and lose no support. Now his lawyers are arguing he could, as President, order Seal Team Six to take out a political rival and walk away with immunity from prosecution, as long as he is not impeached and found guilty first.

(It's a neat flip-flop. During Trump's Jan Six impeachment trial, his lawyer argued conviction by the Senate was unnecessary, because the man could face prosecution after he left office. Senate leader Mitch McConnell made the same point, saying: "He hasn't gotten away with anything, yet. Yet.")

Lately Donald Trump has been referring to convicted Jan Six prisoners as "hostages." Fortunately, actual hostages held by Hamas and other radical Islamic groups in Gaza  are likely not to be aware of Trump's self-aggrandizing degradation of the term.

But it all makes sense in Trump World. American patriots stormed the Capitol to claw back legitimate power stolen from an understandably enraged president.

That's what heroes do, right? They follow their Commander-in-Chief's orders into harm's way. Theirs not to reason why.

Now Speaker Mike Johnson is diligently blurring the faces of those patriots captured on video about to be released by the House. But don't think for a moment the man is interfering with the legal process. No, sir! He's simply trying to avoid a miscarriage of justice. Right?

It's all starting to make sense: Up is down and black is white and bloodhounds fly out of my butt.

Or maybe this is just a show we're all watching on TV.

Tune in November Fifth to see how it turns out. Might be time to start a whole new season of Must See TV: IS AMERICA BURNING?