IN A NUTSHELL

After a squint at the activities of my fellow humans I have concluded that the purpose of human life is to make all life on this planet nearly impossible.

The big problem: Human beings evolved not to be smart but to possess the illusion of smart. That's why stupid folks think they're smarter than they are. (The Dunning-Kruger Effect). We can see that other people are messed up mentally, but we never look close enough to find out that those folks think it's we who are goofed up.

Turns out, humans know just two things: 1) Everything. 2) Don't listen to those snorkle-heads, we're fine!

(Thinking you know everything [and more] is a kind of human side-effect of knowing so little. Everybody: To Infinity and Beyond!)

The brain only does two things well: Coming up with what an idiot would consider plausible reasons to do whatever it is the idiot has already decided to do. (That's called rationalization.)

Also, crucially: The brain protects us from ever finding out we're all wet.

The good news: We come out of this with that most precious of mental armor—confidence.

On a practical level, believing you're a very stable genius is more useful than actually being a genius, because real geniuses are filled with doubts. Imaginary geniuses (AKA idiots) are, as Bertram Russell pointed out in the '30s, cock-sure.

So, does the delusion of smarts cause any trouble?

Well, yeah: It causes pretty much all the trouble on this planet.

First, a couple of exceptions: Earthquakes and volcanic eruptions can be devastating, of course, and humans are blameless for that stuff. (I'm pretty sure.)

On the other hand, humans are apt to plant their cities atop earthquake faults and at the base of active volcanoes, so I think we may have to take some responsibility.

Even extremely bad weather (hurricanes and tornadoes) is exacerbated by human activity (climate change), and deadly diseases (both local and worldwide) can be politicized into the stratosphere by anti-vaxers and the like.

(Folks have a constitutional right to spread disease! Not to mention you might be interfering with god's will by curing folks that god wants sick. That's blasphemy!)

Everything else is largely human-human interaction, which nearly always leads to trouble on some level or another: Couples argue until the police are called; neighbors feud until SWAT is deployed; national politics slides into war; religion is soaked in blood for no practical reason whatsoever.

(Religion only exists because god doesn't.)

To be clear: Human beings are the folks who think they know stuff. They're almost always wrong, but they make up for that by never finding out they're wrong. If you're human, everything that pops up in your field of vision proves you right.

Pretty cool, huh?

You: "Yeah, I just don't see it."

Me: "Exactly."

Believe me or don't, we're all in the same leaky boat.

You should be asking: Is there any way out of this catastrophe?

The short answer is: No.

This feverish clash of nonsense is who we are. And you can't change a human being's mind because to a close approximation human beings don't have them.

(Humans have imaginary minds where they do imaginary thinking.)

MAGA, Q-anon, Stop the Steal. Folks don't get tangled in nonsense like this by careful reasoning, which means you can't use reason to convince anybody to exit these mental mazes. Stuck is stuck.

Here's the thing: As stupid as the people around you seem to be, you can be pretty sure you're also just about exactly that stupid. Those people are unaware of it, and neither are you.

So how can you fix a problem you can't see, a problem you can only theorize about?

One good indicator is doubt. The more you doubt that the action you're about to take is a good idea, the closer you are to being able to prevent your next disaster.

In other words, when you absolutely know you're right, it's time to step back and reconsider.

Sure, but who has that level of maturity?

Here's a practical example: Can you drive through that pond of water? You might try counting the number of cars that tried it and failed. Were those guys more vulnerable than you are? Chances are, they weren't.

In general, the more confident you are you can make it, the more trouble you're about to be in. Remember, your brain is not your friend.

Maybe you imagine the folks whose cars are submerged to the roof line came through this intersection hours ago, when the water level was much higher. Okay, but it would be good to see some evidence of that, maybe a high-water line near the top of a stop sign post.

And don't forget that the volume of nonsense erupting from your skull is directly related to your sense of urgency. How badly do you want to cross that pond and get to your destination? Is the ice cream starting to melt; are the fast-food burgers getting cold?

Sorry, but such notions will not give your car the qualities of a boat.

Here's a thought: Wait for another idiot to show up. If he gets stuck, it's likely you'd get stuck, too. So back off!

(As government officials in flood zones like to say: Don't drown, turn around.)

Caution is always a good watch-word. Measure twice, cut once. Look before you leap. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

On the other hand, he who hesitates is lost. Strike while the iron is hot. Make hay while the sun shines. Faint heart never won fair maiden.

What are you, an indecisive wimp? Can't make up your fricken mind? What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?

Humans may not actually see both sides of every argument, but we're ready with wise-guy platitudes to rationalize our decisions when the time comes.

So, what have we learned?

Beats me, I'm a native hereabouts. As a consequence, my brain rot is nearly complete.

Why don't you make up your own damn mind? (Ha!)