NO COLLUSION?

President Trump has repeated (ad nauseam) there was no collusion between his campaign critters and Russia during the 2016 election. Furthermore, he says since there has been no collusion, the very existence of this investigation is an intolerable hoax.

He sounds like the husband in a murder case when the cops ask him where he was when his wife died: "Wait! You think I killed my wife?! How dare you!"

(Despite the fact Lt. Provenza likes to point out: "It's always the husband. It's always the husband. It's always the husband.")

His position illustrates a logical fallacy. Everybody who's accused of a crime—and pleads not guilty—can claim no investigation is necessary to demonstrate their innocence. In fact, since we're all presumed innocent from the get-go, any attempt to discover the opposite represents some form of persecution.

Trump knows full well there was no collusion, so he's good at sounding insulted when the subject comes up. And keeps coming up!

But unless he's simply following Dr. Goebbels dictum (Repeat the lie until it is believed), we have to ask ourselves: How does Trump know there was no collusion?

I think we have to assume he polygraphed each and every campaign worker who could possibly have rubbed shoulders with a Russian official—and waterboarded most of them at least once, just to make sure. (Remember, Trump happily endorses waterboarding—and much more extravagant torture techniques—when it's vital to uncover the truth.)

To do less would be shoddy work, considering the consequences. Our very democracy is at stake here!

Frankly, to justify the repetitive level of his protests, I think we have to expect a few water- and blood-soaked corpses have been dumped in the Potomac in the dead of night. Mistakes happen, right? Emotions are heightened. The knife goes in just a tad too far...

I wonder: Are any of his people missing?

(That's a joke, son. Since the inauguration, almost all of his people have gone missing.)

Of course, Trump is ignoring those of his advisers who have already pleaded guilty to lying about their adventures with the Ruskies. And he's leaving out the campaign's alliance with Cambridge Analytica, folks happy to provide psychologically-tailored nonsense designed to outrage potential voters. And he's not commenting on the acknowledged attempt of his people (including his son and son-in-law) to get political dirt on Hillary from Russians linked to Putin.

Trump has also carefully avoided mentioning his repeated attempts to obstruct justice in the case—justice that might well grasp the man by the collar and give him a good shaking.

Yet he says, with the unearned confidence of a seasoned moron, the investigation is a witch hunt that must be stopped. For the good of the nation.

Others might argue it's Trump who must be stopped—for the good of the nation.