A THISTLEDOWN RESPONSE

The women who accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct are back in the news, prompting the White House to issue the following statement: "These false claims, totally disputed in most cases by eyewitness accounts, were addressed at length during last year's campaign, and the American people voiced their judgment by delivering a decisive victory. The timing and absurdity of these claims speaks volumes. And the publicity tour that has begun only further confirms the political motives behind them." [Politico, via Newser]

Let's put on our hazardous duty gloves and unpack this thing.

False claims: This says it all, but it's just their position. Yes, Trump vehemently denied the claims, called the women liars, and promised to sue them after the election. Still waiting for that action.

Disputed by eyewitness accounts: Bud Abbott never sees the candle move, but Lou Costello is the poor bastard paying attention. Witnesses rarely see the really good stuff, but that doesn't mean the good stuff isn't real. Especially when going for the good stuff can get you into trouble. All this means is that Trump is more cautious than you would expect an a-hole like him to be.

Addressed at length: Not really. Trump sounded his one-note denial repeatedly, but "at length" implies a thorough investigation. We certainly didn't get that. Maybe a special counsel is needed.

The American people voiced their judgment: Surely there were other issues on the table during the 2016 election. For all we know, the majority of Trump voters thought him guilty of groping a bunch of women, but just didn't care. (They hated Hillary more.)

Decisive victory: Hardly. "Decisive" suggest an overwhelming victory. Trump didn't even get the most votes cast by the American people. His victory was only "decisive" in the sense it decided who is president today. Trump's approval rating is a lot closer to being decisive in the sense the White House means, but in the other direction.

Timing: The timing of the first disclosure, which came near the end of the campaign, was entirely dictated by the release of the Billy Bush tape. It was in response to Trump's denial. The current timing comes from the "Me Too" movement following revelations about Harvey Weinstein. The timing is likely also related to the Roy Moore accusations, and as I've pointed out before, just because a statement is politically motivated doesn't mean it's false.

Absurdity: Trump possesses both hands and mouth and is capable of acting in the way the women said. He is also presumed to have that magnificent penis to motivate him.

Speaks volumes: A bogus implication that is more about the writer's agenda than about the truth of the statements of others. The timing only "speaks volumes" if the accusations are false.

Political motives: Politics can generate both positive and negative actions, and the judgment of which category a particular event falls into depends on whose bull is being gored. Trump's tax-cut bill is pure "reward the rich for putting me in office" politics, masquerading as a Christmas present for the middle class. As a result, the majority of Americans are against it.

Similarly, the White House statement is a bit of fluff masquerading as an iron-clad, case-closed rebuttal. I wonder if we'll ever get anything more substantial.