LOOKING PRESIDENTIAL

The Vice Presidential Debate was best for me because I saw almost none of it. Then I taped over it.

From what little I could stand to watch, Tim Kaine appeared vice-presidential: grinning impishly as he interrupted Mike Pence time after time. Attack dog with a machine gun, sniping away.

Pence tended to deny that Trump ever said all the things Kaine said he did (and he did). The effect was odd: It made Pence seem presidential, especially in contrast to the A-side of his ticket.

Having not actually seen the debate, I don't know if the boys were asked the one vitally important question—the one that never gets asked:

"If you saw a chance to start Armageddon—and bring Jesus of Nazareth back to the world—would you do it? And if not, why not?"

It always amazes me that the American electorate prefers to hand the keys to the nuclear garage to somebody who sees the End of the World as a good thing.

Generally, you can't get elected Dog-Catcher of America without being a devout Christian. Or at least looking like a Christian.

Mike Pence, for instance, is a well-known evangelical. He thinks religious rights trump gender rights. And by religious rights he means the right to discriminate against others who have a different set of religious beliefs.

(You don't have to turn gay to bake a cake for two guys. Nor do you have to endorse homosexuality—which may be against your religion—to allow gays to drive on roads built with public funds.)

Pence's Christian credentials being bona-fide, he's all set. And he appears to be a lot calmer than Trump.

Is that embarrassing for The Donald?

(Does Trump even understand the concept of "embarrassing"?)

During the primaries, Bernie Sanders skated by without encountering any religion-based bumps. The DNC even speculated about his religion, or lack of it—according to leaked emails.

And for good reason.

If Sanders were now the Democratic candidate it might guarantee the election of Trump, though pre-election polls would probably not show it. Folks tend to vote their religious conscience when they get behind the little curtain, and that makes it difficult to elect a Jew.

Or worse, an atheist.

To be elected in this country, you need to have a head full of unverifiable nonsense. And it pretty much has to be traditional Christian nonsense, arguably the most dangerous variety of cranial crap.

(Mitt Romney thought he was going to be President. Maybe it turned out Mormonism was not Christian enough for folks who said they would vote for him, but then didn't.)

Think about it: Muslims are not looking forward to Judgment Day, let alone considering paths to start it up.

(Some devout Christians support Israel because they think that country's fierce opposition to neighboring Arabs will somehow trigger Armageddon.)

The next Presidential debate comes up this Sunday. There are to be questions from the audience. Maybe somebody will stand up and ask the one about deliberately instigating the End of the World.

But I doubt it.

Remember the old joke: Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Or even talk about dying, in such a scary way.

And that's the preferred way to thwart the monster: hide under the covers until it goes away.

Good luck with that.