If you've been following the Birther Movement, you know it was started by Hillary Clinton in 2008. Since then she has appeared on literally hundreds of talk shows, demanding to see Barack Obama's birth certificate. By now, she must have posted over ten thousand tweets on the subject, clearly baffled that the President refuses to hand over the document in question. (And I mean, the real one!)
"He must have something to hide!" she has said, over and over.
It's frankly amazing Obama put up with all this nonsense during the four years the woman was Secretary of State.
(I tell you, that man is a saint!)
Anyway, flash-forward to yesterday afternoon (or whatever), and we find a hero has emerged at last.
Donald Trump stepped up to the microphones and put an end to this Birther crap once and for all, declaring that Barack Obama was born in the United States of America. Period.
Period, okay?
So give it a rest, Hillary. Let it go!
Bitch!
(And why the hell aren't you in jail over that email thing? Or for murdering all those guys in Benghazi?)
At one point Trump considered the idea of shooting the woman down, right there on Fifth Avenue, shoot her down like the mad dog she so clearly is—but there's hardly any point in doing that now, right? What with her soon-to-be fatal brain tumor and everything. (That thing is already bigger than her head, if you can believe it. She has a brawny aide designated to carry it around for her in a bag meant for bowling balls. It's true!)
It's this sort of selfless act—crushing the Birther Movement—that's bound to catapult Donald Trump right into the Oval Office. He just needs to make sure he doesn't lose too many of his core supporters.
Here's a suggestion to draw those folks in even tighter: Propose a plan to execute all illegal immigrants found in this country.
And for good measure, make abortion a death-penalty offense.
When you're supported by the blood-thirsty element, you need to spread around some of that magic elixir.
That's just good business.
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