FORBIDDEN IMAGES

Muslims are prohibited from creating any image of the Prophet. Beyond that, they are strongly discouraged from making images of any other human being as well.

In fact, images of any physical object are considered non-kosher. (Though not exactly prohibited.) It's why Islamic art has settled on patterns and calligraphy for its typical subjects.

All this probably stems from a reverence for the Hebrew Bible (bit ironic, that) and its prohibition against making images of anything in the world (on the ground, in the air, under the water).

This is the first part of the Commandment that requests you not worship graven images. It's a kind of package deal: Don't make the image, but if you do, for god's sake don't worship it.

Actually, Muslims seem leery not just of making images of things, but of seeing those things in the flesh (so to speak).

For instance, they want their women all covered up, lest some unsuspecting fellow will see a patch of skin and lose it. Apparently, the tiniest thing is apt to send the Islamic male into paroxysms of rape.

The solution? Women must remained covered. Not just for their own good, but for the preservation of male souls.

If women still insist in displaying the odd half square inch of skin, they may be beaten with sticks (or worse).

(Be funny if beating naughty women with sticks were found to be erotic by the enforcers of Sharia law.)

In the late sixties, "bag" people made a brief appearance on college campuses. Folks would audit a class wearing a costume that resembled a bean-bag chair. Very mysterious and quite anonymous. Were they Muslim women? Beats me.

Possibly the prohibition against depicting Mohammad is out of fear a devout Muslim might accidentally worship that image as an idol. That would be bad.

The thing is, Muslims don't just need to watch their own behavior. They're apparently required to deal severely with non-Muslims who break Muslim rules. These self-appointed critics are especially incensed by political cartoons.

Showing the Prophet in a bad light is an offense that must be punished. But after noting the sort of stuff done in the name of Mohammad, it becomes more and more difficult to show the fellow in a good light.

Hence the paradox.

The Muslim heroes in Paris avenged their Prophet in the editorial offices of Charlie Hebdo. That action will no doubt set them up well in Paradise.

Maybe polishing off the wounded cop (also a Muslim, as it turns out) will get those guys an extra couple of virgins to play with.

Keep your fingers crossed, boys! I have a feeling your personal Day of Judgement is right around the corner.