RIDING THE SPECTRUM

Let's review: Human beings are the stupidest and meanest creatures in the universe, as far as anyone knows.

We're also delusional.

Our main delusion is that we're not stupid, that we're good at knowing stuff, so good in fact we know the unknowable (e.g., God). Our second delusion is that everything in our heads is literally true.

We're all riding the SMC spectrum (stupid, mean, crazy). As a result, most of us are full of crap, but have no way of knowing it.

Another benefit of being human: We can never be wrong, as far as we can tell. We're full of crap and willing to kill folks to prove we're not.

(Not that we need to prove anything.)

We always do the right thing: go on crusades, shoot up abortion clinics, storm the Capitol, vote for any Trump on the ticket.

There is no fix for this. Stupid, mean, and crazy. It's our way of life.

If you doubt any of this, just look at other people. Examples abound. The hard part is realizing you yourself are also caught up in it.

The Republican party is now in the hands of the Always Trumpers. It's also plagued by the horror-movie nonsense of QAnon. One is a cult of personality, the other a cult without visible personality.

Once this stuff gets into your head, you're doomed, because you can prove to yourself it's true just by glancing at the world. (Do the work.)

Knowing nonsense to be true is the natural state of the human being. We're also the only source of nonsense in the universe (AFAAK).

The most powerful nonsense is the corrosive stuff that confirms our darkest prejudices. This lovely material is also the most welcome in the haunted labyrinth of our minds.

Mitt Romney says we have to straighten out the TRUMP WON folks by telling them the truth. How can that possibly work? They already know the truth.

Good luck changing someone's mind. To a close approximation, humans don't have minds. We have imaginary minds, where we do imaginary thinking.

Nonsense builds on nonsense, upping the ante.

Tell yourself that God requires Trump to remain president and you'll likely never be satisfied with any other outcome.

In one recent poll, five percent of Democrats think Trump won the election.

The power of repetition. Let's hear it for the Big Lie.

Unfortunately, it's not over.

Republican Senators have an opportunity to ditch Trump by helping to convict the man for his crimes. But to do so opens them up to scathing criticism from the ex-president, ignominious defeat in Republican primaries (by another, more Trump-loyal Republican), and gleeful mob murder (by freelance Trump supporters just doing the right thing on behalf of their anointed savior).

(Does the phrase "Hang Mike Pence" sound familiar?)

Being stupid, mean, and crazy doesn't affect you that much when things are quiet. You smash your thumb with a hammer. You poison your family with black-market meat. You screw up the installation of a new furnace and burn down your house. Small stuff.

But when times get hectic, and important decisions have to be made—and acted on—that's when the fan gets buried under a mountain of radioactive feces. And the entire country suffers.

It makes you wonder if human beings should be allowed to govern themselves.

On the other hand, who the hell is going to stop us?

Well, it can't be God (for the most obvious possible reason). But it could be one of our fellow human beings, some unprepossessing fellow appointed by God (according to the guy's closest supporters) to do the work of taking control of our chaotic lives.

Something to look forward to, I guess.

Remember the ancient Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.

POLTERGEIST III - AMERICAN HITLER

Donald Trump released the following statement:

"I am so sorry for what happened at the Capitol. Things just got away from me. I wanted so badly to be re-elected, and I was so shocked to see that Biden had in fact won, that I allowed myself to believe any and all rumors and ridiculous nonsense that suggested I had been re-elected after all. People like Rudy Giuliani came to me and said there was indisputable proof of massive voter fraud—and I jumped wholeheartedly to embrace that baseless claim. I'm ashamed to say I repeated those lies many times when I spoke to the American people. I believed what I said when I said it, but now I realize it was all bunk. The fine men and women who conducted the elections around the country did an excellent job. The vote was proper and accurately tallied. There was no significant fraud. I was wrong, and I apologize for that. Turns out I'm not nearly as smart as I once thought I was. I am deeply sorry for all the damage my gigantic ego has caused this nation, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to repair that damage and heal the rift in the country I have created by pride and ignorance."

And then he said: "April Fool! Ha ha ha ha [...] ha ha ha! Eat my poo!"

Democrats (and some Republicans) are scouring the laws to find ways of getting Trump out of the White House without delay. Probably won't happen. You need a two-thirds majority in the Senate to provide either an impeachment conviction or a removal by 25th Amendment. Not very likely, even now.

Some say that since a self-pardon is founded on shaky law, Trump might resign in order for Pence to pardon him (as Ford did Nixon). Okay, but I don't think Nixon's rather speculative blanket pardon was ever tested in a court of law. Even so, it's probably better than nothing.

(Might be more fun to let him pardon himself, then let him discover when it's too late it doesn't work.)

Impeachment after he leaves office would still have teeth, stripping Trump of pension and travel budget and (maybe) Secret Service protection. And of course keep him from running again in 2024 or ever again.

If it can be done.

The next session of the Senate will benefit from a couple extra Democrats, but even that might not be enough. And it will be argued by Republicans that actions against Trump after he leaves office is nothing but vindictive posturing.

Here's another (somewhat fanciful) scenario:

Secret Service guys rush into the Oval Office, guns drawn, and say there's a crazy mob outside. They haul the president to the bunker for safe keeping. They turn off communications (don't want to bother the man), set the ventilators to low, and leave him there alone until his term is up.

After that, Trump is hooded, handcuffed, and renditioned to Mar-a-Lago.

An alternate ending: Because of a bizarre mix-up in White House maintenance work-orders, a crew accidentally bricks up the bunker's only entrance—with Trump inside. Nature takes it course, and the 45th president posthumously takes on the role of Phantom of the White House, haunting the place from this time forward, a poltergeist that breaks dinner plates and causes locked doors to swing open.

Donald Trump has already clinched the title of Worst American President. After the events of last Wednesday, he may now have taken matters to the next level: Worst American. Period.

Benedict Arnold, stand down. You've been relieved.

So, how can we hope to avoid having such a destructive personality in the White House ever again? We need new rules for potential candidates to follow. It's simply not enough to have been born in the country and be at least 35 years old.

If you want to run for president, you should have to pass the same test immigrants take to become citizens. You should be evaluated by psychologists to determine if you are emotionally stable. And you should have to pass an FBI background investigation to see if you are eligible for a security clearance. (That would include releasing income tax returns, and so forth.)

These hurdle would be tough to clear. The tests would be invasive and exhaustive and be made public.

Would it be difficult to find even one person per political party qualified to run for president every four years? I'm okay with that.

It's too dangerous to let the mob decide without much more restrictive guardrails.

POLTERGEIST II

It is very likely the flag-waving folks who stormed the nation's Capitol earlier today were not motivated by a desire to destroy democracy in America. They were there to preserve democracy, to rescue it from the lizard people and the Deep State Democratic pedophiles who had stolen it from Donald Trump.

Those good folks were not evil, simply misinformed. By Donald Trump.

As I have tried to point out in this blog, the human mind is a delicate hunk of defective aerofoam, bound into the skull with razor wire and duct tape.

Our minds are easily subverted, easily turned rancid by the quiet words of loud, ambitious people.

We humans can't help it. We're doing the best we can. Like the woman on a jury once said, the defendant was too drunk to be held responsible for driving his car into a construction zone and killing his passenger.

Humans are perennially "drunk" with mind-altering stupidity and delusion.

We are a stupid and mean pack of badly evolved animals buoyed up by delusions of knowledge and the glory of unearned righteousness.

Humans always do the right thing. Unfortunately, we are by nature incapable of finding out we're full of crap, that what we're doing is often exactly the wrong thing.

There's no fix for this.

During the height of the action today, the president released a video that reminded his followers he had won the election by a landslide (and everybody in the country knew it), and that his re-election had been stolen by folks bent on the destruction of America. Then he told them to go home.

Watching such incendiary rhetoric, I always have to ask myself: Is this man sincere? Does he really believe all this nonsense? He he genuinely consumed by nut-ball conspiracy theories? Is he being held hostage by Fox News?

Or is he just lying for political and financial gain?

If he's sincere, the man is stupid or crazy or both. He'd have to be.

On the other hand, if it's all just a pack of lies, that would help us uncover what MAGA really means: Make America Gape Again.

Sure, Trump loves America. But it's a tough love. And as we all know, the toughest love is anal.

It appears Trump wants to drive trucks through America's backdoor.

How can we hope to keep stuff like this from happening in the future?

Next time on WHAT'S WRONG WITH US, I promise.