In a movie called The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Steve Carell's character gets roped into an after-hours poker game with his co-workers. The conversation turns to women, and Carell blurts out how much he likes ladies' boobs. He enjoys how they feel just like a bag of sand.
The other guys immediately conclude the man knows nothing of boobs and sharply question his sexual history, soon discovering his secret: a total lack of sexual history.
Had Carell been on his toes, however, he might have said he was just kidding! Boobs are not at all like bags of sand! But he was forced to stand by his statement and endure the consequences that came after.
Last Thursday, at the White House Coronavirus press conference, Donald Trump put out some theories on how the virus might be conquered by blasting the body with UV light (or just very bright light). Or perhaps by using the same stuff that kills the virus on surfaces. Disinfectants and the like, if they could be introduced into the body.
Trump addressed his speculations to Dr. Deborah Birx, the woman obviously becoming more and more uncomfortable. In the end, she stopped looking at Trump at all and just stared off into the distance, her legs moving restlessly beneath her chair—like a sleeping dog that dreams of running through the woods. She clearly wanted out of that room.
In his defense (I suppose), Trump had just attended a briefing about how long the virus lives on various surfaces and how it can be killed. He was just spit-balling from there, apparently.
Did he know he was wandering off into uncharted territory, that he was taking the risk of looking foolish?
The backlash was swift, of course, condemning the president for endangering a gullible public. Lysol even issued a press release reminding folks not to take their products internally.
The president's press secretary said he'd been quoted out of context.
Trump himself came up with a different story, telling reporters his remarks were sarcasm aimed at the press. Naturally, the corrupt media reported his words as if they were meant to be taken seriously, rising to the bait like the fake-news trout they were.
The next day, Friday, Trump was out of the briefing room in a hurry. He took no questions. There were no White House Coronavirus press conferences Saturday and Sunday—the first quiet weekend since the briefings began.
Donald Trump has always been a font of knowledge on a variety of subjects. Just not a very reliable font.
Early on, he expected the virus to succumb to the growing heat of April. It would just "wash-through" the country and be gone, disappearing in a kind of miracle.
He was also very fond of an anti-malaria drug called Hydroxychloroquine, saying, "What do you have to lose?" Your life, apparently, since it can cause fatal heartbeat irregularities. The FDA recently announced it should not be used outside of hospital trials. (Folks at a VA test were dying faster than those not given the drug.)
Trump clearly wants to be the nation's savior—in fact, his re-election may depend on his filling that role. As a consequence, he's willing to sound like a dunce in public to be the first to name a potential solution. He needs to get that credit.
Wishful thinking never put so many lives at risk.
At the press conference in the White House Rose Garden this afternoon, Trump was asked about an uptick in poison information call centers by folks using or asking if they should use disinfectants to treat covid-19, he said: "I can't imagine why."
I have a feeling he doesn't mean he can't imagine why anyone would listen to a word he says on any subject.
But it sounds like the way to go.
Monday, April 27, 2020
Monday, April 20, 2020
OK, BOOMER: DIE!
Folks are getting antsy to get back to work, and the president is sympathetic, tweeting out support for "liberating" a number of states.
One of the facts underscored by the coronavirus is how many Americans are living paycheck to paycheck with virtually no economic cushion to soften unexpected hits. Like buying basic food ...when you feel brave enough to slip into Walmart and rub elbows with whatever threat to your life you might find there.
Unemployment insurance has been enhanced, but good luck getting signed up. And then good luck sweating out when any of the money will land in your grubby hands.
As for the "covid relief" payment, that's probably only going to happen once, if you manage to get it at all.
So desperate people take to the streets, fueled by compulsion and emboldened by the nonsense being broadcast into their fragile brains.
(Don't think the Russian disinformation crew is taking a holiday.)
More than forty thousand dead in this country so far, which represents a very bad year of "seasonal flu." And it's not remotely over yet.
If New York, our hardest-hit state, has reached its peak, that only means the death toll will likely double before falling off completely. Assuming there is such a thing as "falling off completely."
Other states are probably weeks from hitting their peaks. And the virus is just starting up in rural America.
Social distancing is flattening the curve. But the idea there is that we spread out the demand on our hospital system, to avoid turning folks away to die at home. A flat curve could easily have just as many fatalities tucked under its squished-out form.
Nevertheless, many folks (though not nearly a majority) are willing to take the risk of infection to get back to work. And it's true, getting the disease might have very little impact on them.
Judging from news coverage, these guys also don't mind putting each other at risk to make their views heard. And they're apparently willing to drag their children to the protests too, maybe because they've been told youngsters can't get covid. (Kids get colds every few months, right? It means nothing.)
On the other hand, some folks have a very hard time with the disease, up to and including death. Don't forget, you can spread the virus without even knowing you're sick. And what if you actually are sick? Who hasn't gone to work sick? There's stuff to do and if you're not going to do it, you can bet they'll find somebody else to take that paycheck.
No doubt about it, going back to work will cost lives. As the governor of Washington put it, you "might be killing your granddad" if you don't take covid seriously.
And it's true: Nursing home deaths are ramping up everywhere.
But I get it. A lot of those guys are already half dead. And life is for the living, right? Granddad's had a pretty good run. And he's going to a better place, far as you know. (Nobody can prove there's no heaven.)
Maybe it's time to email the old goat and cut him loose.
No question, Donald Trump wants this whole mess to go away. For the purposes of getting re-elected, he really needs the economy to bounce back in a big, big way ...and soon.
Figuring out when to end restrictions was supposed to be the hardest decision of his life. But then he made that decision, and it was easy! Make the governors decide for him! Got his ass off the hook completely!
Genius, right?
But now he's effing it up, big time.
Everybody says testing is the key to reopening, but Trump is putting all that in the laps of the governors. That's a huge mistake. He needs to sound all empathetic and so forth (or at least pretend) and offer to supply millions of test, all the tests the states could ever want.
For free and quickly ramped up!
He needs to make sure everybody can see he is removing all impediments to reopening the country, so the governors can have no excuses.
But if he digs in his heels and refuses to help, and tweets support for "liberating" states from the sideline, he's setting up the states to reopen too early.
Cases will blossom, deaths with skyrocket, and states will turn turtle, yanking their heads back in.
Not only will Trump catch at least some of the blame for that (and maybe most of the blame), the whole thing will drag on for many more months, ruining any chance for a miraculous recovery of the economy in time for November 3rd.
Reap what you sow, right? How can it be otherwise?
One of the facts underscored by the coronavirus is how many Americans are living paycheck to paycheck with virtually no economic cushion to soften unexpected hits. Like buying basic food ...when you feel brave enough to slip into Walmart and rub elbows with whatever threat to your life you might find there.
Unemployment insurance has been enhanced, but good luck getting signed up. And then good luck sweating out when any of the money will land in your grubby hands.
As for the "covid relief" payment, that's probably only going to happen once, if you manage to get it at all.
So desperate people take to the streets, fueled by compulsion and emboldened by the nonsense being broadcast into their fragile brains.
(Don't think the Russian disinformation crew is taking a holiday.)
More than forty thousand dead in this country so far, which represents a very bad year of "seasonal flu." And it's not remotely over yet.
If New York, our hardest-hit state, has reached its peak, that only means the death toll will likely double before falling off completely. Assuming there is such a thing as "falling off completely."
Other states are probably weeks from hitting their peaks. And the virus is just starting up in rural America.
Social distancing is flattening the curve. But the idea there is that we spread out the demand on our hospital system, to avoid turning folks away to die at home. A flat curve could easily have just as many fatalities tucked under its squished-out form.
Nevertheless, many folks (though not nearly a majority) are willing to take the risk of infection to get back to work. And it's true, getting the disease might have very little impact on them.
Judging from news coverage, these guys also don't mind putting each other at risk to make their views heard. And they're apparently willing to drag their children to the protests too, maybe because they've been told youngsters can't get covid. (Kids get colds every few months, right? It means nothing.)
On the other hand, some folks have a very hard time with the disease, up to and including death. Don't forget, you can spread the virus without even knowing you're sick. And what if you actually are sick? Who hasn't gone to work sick? There's stuff to do and if you're not going to do it, you can bet they'll find somebody else to take that paycheck.
No doubt about it, going back to work will cost lives. As the governor of Washington put it, you "might be killing your granddad" if you don't take covid seriously.
And it's true: Nursing home deaths are ramping up everywhere.
But I get it. A lot of those guys are already half dead. And life is for the living, right? Granddad's had a pretty good run. And he's going to a better place, far as you know. (Nobody can prove there's no heaven.)
Maybe it's time to email the old goat and cut him loose.
No question, Donald Trump wants this whole mess to go away. For the purposes of getting re-elected, he really needs the economy to bounce back in a big, big way ...and soon.
Figuring out when to end restrictions was supposed to be the hardest decision of his life. But then he made that decision, and it was easy! Make the governors decide for him! Got his ass off the hook completely!
Genius, right?
But now he's effing it up, big time.
Everybody says testing is the key to reopening, but Trump is putting all that in the laps of the governors. That's a huge mistake. He needs to sound all empathetic and so forth (or at least pretend) and offer to supply millions of test, all the tests the states could ever want.
For free and quickly ramped up!
He needs to make sure everybody can see he is removing all impediments to reopening the country, so the governors can have no excuses.
But if he digs in his heels and refuses to help, and tweets support for "liberating" states from the sideline, he's setting up the states to reopen too early.
Cases will blossom, deaths with skyrocket, and states will turn turtle, yanking their heads back in.
Not only will Trump catch at least some of the blame for that (and maybe most of the blame), the whole thing will drag on for many more months, ruining any chance for a miraculous recovery of the economy in time for November 3rd.
Reap what you sow, right? How can it be otherwise?
Monday, April 6, 2020
PRESIDENT-FOR-LIFE
Check this out:
Given my experience working for Mr. Trump, I fear that if he loses the election in 2020 that there will never be a peaceful transition of power.
—Michael Cohen, testifying before Congress, 27 February 2019
If Cohen's assessment of his ex-boss is at all accurate, we may be in for a number of entertaining months following the election this November.
As Covid-19 guts the economy (Trump's sure-fire calling card for re-election), the man is likely to become more and more desperate. Fortunately for him, there is a catch-all solution, one he has used repeatedly during his presidency.
Calling stuff a hoax.
The Russia Hoax, the Ukraine Hoax, the Impeachment Hoax, the Global Warming Hoax, the Collusion Hoax, and so forth.
If it makes Donald Trump look bad, all he has to do is label it a hoax.
When an employee brings problems to the bosses, tells them the company is doing something wrong, something dangerous, something illegal, they fire his ass, right? Then, when he goes public with his complaint, they always say the same thing: "The man is a disgruntled ex-employee."
Which, they maintain, thoroughly answers the question: "Is the company doing what the guy says you're doing?"
That statement, so prevalent in corporate press releases, takes not one step toward answering the question. But for the company, the issue has now been laid to rest for all time.
Nothing more to say.
(Except later, when the company's wrong-doing lands them in court. Then they say they can't comment on matters under current litigation.)
It's a press secretary's wet dream. Nothing to see here, move along.
(These are not the droids you're looking for.)
This hoax thing started with the so-called Steele Dossier. Remember the Pee-pee Tape? Fake news, says the president.
Case closed. Nothing to see here.
If the election doesn't go his way, what are the chances he declares it a hoax? Pretty damn good, I'm thinking.
(Remember Citizen Kane? In covering Kane's bid to be governor, they had two front pages ready to roll after the election: KANE ELECTED and FRAUD AT POLLS!)
Keep in mind, according to the president, caravans of Mexicans are on their way to the US, and each of those energetic criminals vote many, many times.
Not to mention there are millions of illegals in the country already, just itching to vote the man out of office.
If Trump contests the election, the matter will undoubtedly go to the Supreme Court. He's already filled two of the seats there. I think we better hope Ruth Bader Ginsburg stays in good shape.
Because if the Court gets any more conservative, Trump may hope for victory.
Then it's on to the legality of the 22nd Amendment. Get that out of the way (It's a violation of free speech to say a guy can't have more than two terms as president, right?), and Trump can realize his dream: President-for-Life.
The man can lord it over us until he's just a brain in a bucket.
Given my experience working for Mr. Trump, I fear that if he loses the election in 2020 that there will never be a peaceful transition of power.
—Michael Cohen, testifying before Congress, 27 February 2019
If Cohen's assessment of his ex-boss is at all accurate, we may be in for a number of entertaining months following the election this November.
As Covid-19 guts the economy (Trump's sure-fire calling card for re-election), the man is likely to become more and more desperate. Fortunately for him, there is a catch-all solution, one he has used repeatedly during his presidency.
Calling stuff a hoax.
The Russia Hoax, the Ukraine Hoax, the Impeachment Hoax, the Global Warming Hoax, the Collusion Hoax, and so forth.
If it makes Donald Trump look bad, all he has to do is label it a hoax.
When an employee brings problems to the bosses, tells them the company is doing something wrong, something dangerous, something illegal, they fire his ass, right? Then, when he goes public with his complaint, they always say the same thing: "The man is a disgruntled ex-employee."
Which, they maintain, thoroughly answers the question: "Is the company doing what the guy says you're doing?"
That statement, so prevalent in corporate press releases, takes not one step toward answering the question. But for the company, the issue has now been laid to rest for all time.
Nothing more to say.
(Except later, when the company's wrong-doing lands them in court. Then they say they can't comment on matters under current litigation.)
It's a press secretary's wet dream. Nothing to see here, move along.
(These are not the droids you're looking for.)
This hoax thing started with the so-called Steele Dossier. Remember the Pee-pee Tape? Fake news, says the president.
Case closed. Nothing to see here.
If the election doesn't go his way, what are the chances he declares it a hoax? Pretty damn good, I'm thinking.
(Remember Citizen Kane? In covering Kane's bid to be governor, they had two front pages ready to roll after the election: KANE ELECTED and FRAUD AT POLLS!)
Keep in mind, according to the president, caravans of Mexicans are on their way to the US, and each of those energetic criminals vote many, many times.
Not to mention there are millions of illegals in the country already, just itching to vote the man out of office.
If Trump contests the election, the matter will undoubtedly go to the Supreme Court. He's already filled two of the seats there. I think we better hope Ruth Bader Ginsburg stays in good shape.
Because if the Court gets any more conservative, Trump may hope for victory.
Then it's on to the legality of the 22nd Amendment. Get that out of the way (It's a violation of free speech to say a guy can't have more than two terms as president, right?), and Trump can realize his dream: President-for-Life.
The man can lord it over us until he's just a brain in a bucket.
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