FROM MAGA TO KAG

One thing about Donald Trump's 2016 campaign that has always been a sticking pont is the slogan: Make America Great Again.

What the hell does he mean by that?

I speculated he was referring to a time before we had income tax. Around the time we helped save democracy in Europe at the end of the Great War.

But that's too intellectual for Trump.

I concluded he meant Put a White Man Back in the White House.

In other words, his campaign was all about de-Obama-izing the country. And that made sense. Trump full on hates Obama and everything the man did while he was president. In fact, Trump has hardly ever misses an opportunity to denigrate the man and take steps to undo his actions.

Some would say this attitude is simple racism.

Others point out Obama made fun of Trump at a White House Correspondents Dinner. Turns out The Donald has very little tolerance for being kidded, so events that night might explain what amounts to a vendetta against the man.

(Obama showed a tarted-up version of the White House as modified by a future Trump presidency. What Trump is proposing for a redesigned Air Force One is a step in that direction -- and he's not done yet. Wait till the folks in Iran get a load of their new radioactive wilderness, courtesy of the Trump Design Team.)

Fortunately, figuring out MAGA recently became a little easier. Even before launching his reelection campaign, Trump revealed his new slogan: Keep America Great!

(Or KAG.)

Considering how little Trump has actually done (tax breaks to corporations and rich folks), we are left to wonder if this was all it took to make the country great.

Of course, Trump also takes full credit for a booming economy. Let's face it,  no way could he give a nod to Obama for lifting us out of the Great Recession. (Trump probably blames the guy for putting us there in the first place.)

But KAG makes it clear: Trump made America great simply by getting his ass elected. He didn't have to do a thing AS president. And we can keep this great feeling alive just by sending him back for another four years.

Pretty cool, right?

The only problem is that he will have to leave the White House eventually, by (current) law. And that will be the end of America's greatness forever.

That's sad, sure, but those are the inflexible rules of the self-aggrandizing lunatic. There's only so much of the exalted fellow to go around. And when that inflated bag of orange skin is empty, the party's over.

THE TRUMPING OF AMERICA

Donald Trump recently indicated he would listen to any foreign government if it claimed to have dirt on a political opponent. Everybody does it, he says, so why wouldn't he?

Makes sense to him. And if it's technically illegal, so what?

He pointed out he has seen a lot of stuff in his life, and had never called the FBI. Besides, there are not enough agents in the Bureau to look at all that stuff.

So I guess we can expect a repeat of the Russia Thing. And, in a way, it's already happening.

Kim Jong-un (or a spokesman) recently declared Trump's nearest political rival, Joe Biden, to be a "low-IQ" individual. And Trump agreed.

Of course he agreed. "Low-IQ individual" is petty much what he calls everybody he doesn't like.

Something tells me North Korea follows Trump on Twitter.

That Trump is so eager to line up with those guys is a reminder of how starved the man is for reinforcement. He'll take it from anybody willing to slather it over his parsnips (to use an old expression; not that Trump is likely to consort with vegetables).

By the way, in that same interview Trump showed off illustrations of his new paint design for Air Force One. He says it's for future presidents.

More likely it's for him, even if he never flies in it.

Part of his legacy, man.

Like the lasting residue of his extensive federal judge appointments. Or the easing of governmental regulations that hinder a rich man's plan of becoming even richer.

Trump means to rub his junk on all parts of this country.

I guess we're lucky he doesn't literally mark his territory, like a randy alley cat.

LOUNGING IN THE COMFORT ZONE

Donald Trump is in Great Britain (which refers to the fact England is combined with Scotland and Wales and so forth, not that they consider the country some pretty hot stuff).

At a press conference he pointed out he only saw a handful of protesters -- which meant the notion he was widely protested was another instance of the famous "fake news."

What it really meant was that his handlers kept him away from the real stuff: the Baby Trump blimp, the audio-animatronic Trump tweeting on the toilet, and so forth.

Trump's world view is just that limited.

The universe is contacting to a dot, like an old fashioned CRT television when the plug is pulled.

But that's all right. Far as Trump can tell, he already knows more than he needs to.

No doubt that's very comforting to the man. But will it console him if he loses the 2020 election?